


Jealousy Brings Peace

by AriesDanger24



Category: One Piece
Genre: 'American football players, CANT STOP ME, M/M, Marco is a fucking therapist, Oh yeah football players, This be recovery fanfic with learning to love yourself!, This is my life now, This is what I do at work, ahhhh, best dialogue ive ever done, catch me with those gay feels, dis be the highschool AU, get ready for those good feels and happiness, maybe you can but not for long, recovery from self harm, sorry - Freeform, write my fanfics and ship my ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:14:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22198420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriesDanger24/pseuds/AriesDanger24
Summary: Penguin has had a troubled life, had some ups and downs, some self harm in his past but he wants to work towards getting better and is. This is the recovery fanfic that no one asked for that involves highschool and self love. Killer/Penguin, I just want them happy and want to help Penguin get over his jealousy towards them thicc gorgeous locks of Killer. So that he can work through his issues. (ft. Marco the therapist, Shachi the thrifty bitch of an adoptive brother, Law the silent chaotic scientist who shouldn't give life advice, Usopp who is the children's comic writer that finally gets to be an actually storyteller, Smoker an angry boi teacher, and of course, Marco is still a hot and hip therapist) XDJoin me in my chaos that is actually controlled.
Relationships: Killer/Penguin (One Piece)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Jealousy Brings Peace

**Author's Note:**

> So um....here was a prompt I made and decided to follow through with.
> 
> "What if Penguin was jealous of Killer's hair?"
> 
> and here I am....starting ANOTHER FANFIC!

WARNING: THERE ARE MENTIONS OF SELF HARM AND BAD UPBRINGING, PLEASE BE WARY AND PROTECT YOURSELF IF THESE ARE TRIGGERS. 

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ONE PIECE

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Chapter 1: Base Man

It always hurt,  
Burning beneath his hat.

The nervous itching that gave way to scarring,  
A stress habit turned permanently damaging.

A tumultuous childhood that lead one to develop unhealthy coping skills.  
It was how it started,  
It was only recently that he willed himself to stop.

His adoptive brother crying into his shoulder.  
The tears had been warmer than any touch.  
It made Penguin feel something again.

The warmth of that hand holding a vibrant red one above his head,  
He had gone so far this time,  
He could feel how warm he was feeling on his head.

It was fuzzy,  
The feeling he wanted long ago.  
The warmth he used pain to substitute.

It somehow couldn’t compare to the way his new brother held him,  
The numbing warm pain felt so paled in comparison to the warmth of tears on his shirt.  
That places where skin touched skin,  
It felt deep,  
Connected,  
Almost giddy.

This was what he wanted,  
This is where the story of Penguin’s recovery began.  
Just stopping the action couldn’t fix the damage.  
Only love and time could do that.  
At least that was what Shachi said anyway.

It was a start.

His start to recovery.

His brother teaching him how to be human,  
Because his own parents had been monsters.

His mother a gorgon,  
Whose cold eyes always glazed with distaste turning him to stone.

His father a banshee,  
Whose tall figure intimidated and how words ripping through ears till they bled.

And him a wretch,  
Whose very existence was disposable to his monster parents.

Ah,  
Shachi told him to stop thinking like that...and the therapist too.

“What are you thinking about Penguin?” 

The therapist leaned down slightly, his thin framed glasses sliding down slightly as he leaned a little.

Penguin wondered if he even needed them.

“Do you even need those glasses or do you wear them for show?”

The therapist sighed and leaned back, gingerly touching his glasses in thought.

“They are bifocals, so normally no, but with paper documents they are helpful. More importantly, you are avoiding the question yoi.”

Penguin made a face as he leaned back in bean bag chair, “nothing gets past you.”

“It’s my job to not get distracted or become judgemental.”

Penguin took another look at the man, taking a moment to speak, wanting to speak clearly.

The man waited as he always did in that Freudian fashion. Leaning back in a green cushioned chair, his hair a hipster blonde mohawk. Penguin felt a pang in his chest looking at the man’s clean looking scalp, how it looked so smooth. The way his would never be again. He felt a bit of anger rise again before he stopped the thought to ask himself why he was getting so mad...he couldn’t figure out why still…

“I am starting to figure it out.”

That seemed to perk up the other man, his interest caught by his words. 

“Really now? What have you started to figure out?”

“I know why I get mad sometimes, but I don’t uh...know how to fix it.”

“Well, what do you know then, let’s start there yoi.”

There was a twang of his old habit, the need to scratch away at his head. 

“I still get the urge to scratch when I feel overwhelmed or stressed so I can prevent it a-and I figured out that...there is a pattern. Everyone I act irrational with usually are blonde….just like my parents. The anxiety attacks have stopped since I started on the medication but I still tremble sometimes. I know it still sounds like bits and pieces but I think I am starting to understand and get the hang of how to deal with some of it.”

A smile seemed to happen on the therapist’s usually cold face, something that made Penguin smile a bit himself. His face burning from the shyness….but he was excited that the other man’s methods were starting to make a difference. It had been 2 years since he met Marco and every 2 weeks they met for an hour. At first Penguin was more of a wreck, having been through 2 other therapists before Marco, he had lost faith in people being able to stop him, he had thought medicines were the devil, and that he was better off….well….yeah.

Anyway, Marco had been different from the start.

He had been brutally honest from the moment they met, from the way he looked to words he spoke. He didn’t lie and he didn’t treat Penguin like he was 8. 

It was an immediate connection, a simple conversation between them was more enlightening than any experience he had ever had. 

It was the reason he gave Marco a chance.

He was so glad he took the chance.

This smile said everything, he was showing progress, real progress.

“That’s good. You’ve come so far.” Marco nodded to himself at that.

He seemed to remember something to ask, “So speaking of coming far, how is your 3rd year of highschool? Just yesterday it feels like I met a young 14 year old freshman.” 

Penguin scoffed, “Ah yes, that shiny eyed freshman realized that High school is the worst, the glasses of adulthood have dulled my senses….in short, it sucks.”

Marco smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Ah, so the usual then. I rarely have a highschooler here that says being 17 is great. Is there any issues to discuss about it though? We do have some time for you to pour your heart out to me yoi.”

“Your damn right I am abusing this hour, you cost a fortune to book, you know that right.” Penguin laughed.

Marco shrugged with an honest smile, “Just working for my money, but I am all ears.”

Penguin cracked his knuckles, “Are you sure you can take my, what was it you called it, ‘my angsty cringey teenage emotions’?” 

The blonde propped himself on his hand, his head cradled comfortably, “Only if you don’t make it as boring as last time. I need some real sappy drama here yoi.”

“Lately, there is this guy on the football team…”

Marco mouthed a mocking “O” motion and Penguin felt his face burn from watching the embarrassing movement. 

Typical Adult Behavior. (T.A.B)

“Oh Shut it, this isn’t like that. This guy’s nickname is Killer, plays White Receiver, a real fast and not super thin guy, but anyway, his hair is wild long and blonde…..and everytime I see him I can’t stop getting angry or being rude to him and it’s becoming an issue.”

He looked nervously back up at the other blonde who seemed interested and gestured for him to continue, “What do you mean by mean, like physically getting angry or verbally fighting?” 

Penguin looked away sheepishly for a moment and Marco’s eyes narrowed, “What have you been doing?”

“I..ick...him.”

“What was that yoi?”

“I sometimes when he is being rude about my height or my hat….I kind of get so angry I kick him in the shins.”

“PENGUIN! WE JUST TALKED ABOUT PROGRESS! WHERE IS THE PROGRESS?” Marco’s eyes comically wide and sputtering in shock.

Penguin frazzled in panic and irritation, “I CAN’T HELP IT, HE IS IRRITATING! HE IS TOO TALL AND HIS HAIR IS TOO NICE AND I CAN’T STAND HIM! Plus he is rude to Shachi and Law.”

“Bring down the tone Penguin, we can talk softer.”  
Penguin huffed and groaned into his hands as he sunk into the soft chair.

He waited a moment.

“Sorry.”

Marco waved his apologies away, “I understand. I also raised my voice, but it was almost comical. On one hand you tell me your doing great then the next you tell me there is someone you are physically fighting on a daily basis. When did that start?”

Penguin thought about it, “Last year, there was a fight between Law and football captain Kid, yeah his name is weird, anyway I tried to pull Law away, but ended up in a fight when Kidd hit me on accident. It was bad, Kid’s punch was like a rock and I ended up swinging back because this was when my medicine wasn’t working yet so I exploded and punched Kid real good in the head. Hell, I tackled him to the ground and punched him and someone threw me off of Kid. That’s when I met Killer and he told me to back off his friend and I told him to keep a leash on him if he was going to punch people left and right. It’s just never changed, everytime we see each other it’s a lot verbal fighting and an OCCASIONAL kick to the shins.”

Marco huffed a low mutter under his breath, “teenagers.”

Penguin rolled his eyes and thought a similar thought, ‘adults’.

He pulled at the lapels of his hat, the snug warmth on his head getting tighter, almost painful. It was reminiscent of what he used to do….it wasn’t warm en-

“Penguin.”

Penguin looked back at Marco and understood what the look on his face meant.

He had started to recede again, regress to isolating thoughts.

“S-”

“No need to apologize. I don’t expect you to be perfect.” Marco said softer than normal.

Penguin eyes seemed to stick to the ceiling now as he rolled back into his bean bag chair.

“Has it been happening more often yoi?”

Penguin bit at his lip a bit as he thought over the answer, his hunger rising again for a moment.

“Yeah...they aren’t what they used to be. They are um different.”

The interest lacing Marco’s next question was predictable, the therapist felt like a firm friend in Penguin’s life. 

“How so?”

A small thump of his feet against the floor started up again as he felt embarrassed a bit.

“It sounds stupid.”

“Oh?”

“I think it isn’t rage because of my trauma this time.”

A small quirk of Marco’s eyebrows told the teenager all he needed. Marco was intrigued.

“Then what is it yoi?”

“Well….I think I am just uh..I think I am just jealous of his hair actually. Like it’s big and blonde and wild looking...it’s kinda crazy cool and I just think everytime that,....that I um….won’t ever have that. My hair will never be like that. EVER.”

Penguin felt his face get a bit warm and that deep feeling of emptiness rise in his upper chest, the feeling that almost made you start crying. But he only felt a bit warm near the eyes, he stopped before he got too emotional.

Marco though seemed to gaze silently at him for a moment, probably trying to process what to say to that. 

“That’s okay.”

“.....what? Me being jealous or me never having perfect blonde hair?” Penguin snickered.

“Both smartass. Everyone gets jealous of things, I can’t help that because that all leads back into the big theme of loving yourself yoi.”

Penguin sighed, of course it would be.

Loving yourself seemed to be the one thing he couldn’t do.

He has tried but it hasn’t worked.

“How does anyone do that consciously?” Penguin pondered out loud, Marco shrugged.

“I guess I would equate it to being satisfied with what you have.”

Penguin hated sometimes how Marco could get him thinking, but he also loved that side of him.

Penguin really thought that Marco believed in him.

“Do you think I can actually do that? I am in highschool.”

Marco cracked a lopsided smile and nodded with him.

“You’ve got a point, perhaps it won’t happen now, but it might yoi.”

It sounded hopeful ...and a bit cheesy.

“Fat chance, but I will try.”

Marco smiled honestly, it was a smile that made Penguin’s heart fill a bit with pride.

Even if he was actively not trying to show it.

“Good. You already are on the first step towards it by saying will try and thinking that it is worth exploring. That in itself is showing love and appreciation for yourself.”

Guess that was a start in the right direction then.

“What’s other steps then?”

Marco leaned forward a bit so his elbows met his legs as he propped himself up. 

It reminded Penguin of an interested look his friend Law got when he was thinking deeply.

“Well, I think self care is a nice way to show yourself love, like eating 3 times a day, keeping up hygiene habits, exercising, getting out and socializing. It sounds like basic stuff, but it can be difficult for some people. I know you personally have issues with, well, sleep-”

Penguin felt something cold hit his chest all of a sudden. 

The deep sinking feeling of anxiety creeping in as his hands got cold.

The sound of Marco’s voice got farther away.

Not today.

He couldn’t talk today.

Not about that.

“Pancakes!”

The Unsafe Word had been uttered. 

Marco paused his long monologue, his eyes widened as he instantly changed the subject.

“Anyway, self love is about taking care of you needs and in a professional manner while not putting them aside. Some things are easy and others….others aren’t as easy.”

Penguin nodded numbly.

He reached for his hat, petting the fabric and pulling it closer to his head.

It was warm

Soothing

Sweet

Tr-

“Penguin.”

Arms jostled him to life and Penguin opened his eyes.

Marco looked at him blankly

Often that look meant that he needed to-

Oh.

He probably said the word aloud as Marco seemed to nod at his own word.

He was not holding his hat...he was underneath it.

Penguin was afraid to pull them out from under his hat.

What if there was blood.

He hadn’t done that in a long time!

WHY NOW?

“Penguin, look at me.”

Penguin did.

The psychiatrist gently pulled at Penguin’s hands.

Penguin let him.

His hands were ice cold,

One might even say frozen because Marco’s felt like ovens, scorching him.

“Listen to me.”

Penguin did.

“I am going to pull your hands down and check your head okay.”

Penguin felt afraid but moreover he numbly nodded.

He couldn’t do this alone...he never could.

They pulled out his hands and they both let out a sigh of relief.

Fingers clear of any blood or hair.

Marco pulled down his hat and Penguin held his breath.

“Clear.”

Penguin felt the tension release from his legs and a sigh break out.

The hat was placed back on his head. 

“Are we close enough for a hug or should I keep my distance yoi?”

Penguin shook his head.

Marco was an adult, that would be too weird.

“Too weird huh?”

Penguin nodded and said, “entirely too weird.”

Marco held up his hands in false surrender, “Ah I see, I am too old for that.”

The teen smiled a bit.

Marco just really got him sometimes.

“Has that happened much recently?”

Penguin shook his head.

Marco sighed and just clip notes the rest of his words.

“Basically, self care is self love. Do what you can. That alone is enough for now.”

Penguin nodded, his hands now clasped together.

He didn’t trust himself.

Maybe it was more like he couldn’t trust himself.

“Is there anything else you want to talk about yoi?”

Not really.

“No.”

“Well, I will see you next time. Please take care of yourself.”

“I will try my best.”

Marco smiled a bit at his answer.

“You’ve come a long way since we started and I can say I think good things will happen if you keep trying yoi.”

“I hope so. I certainly need it now since I am bombarded by homework and then we have a football game next week.”

Marco shrugged with a wry grin

“Can’t say I relate much, I was homeschooled.”

Lucky

“Lucky.”

Marco’s grin grew wider.

What an ass.

Penguin couldn’t help how much he liked him, for a psychiatrist anyway.

“See ya around yoi.”

“Bye Dr. Marco.”

“Geez you make me sound old!”

Penguin cracked a smile when he saw his comment get a rise out of the other.

Penguin opened the door and waved as he shut it. 

He walked down the office halls

He knew the way after all these years.


End file.
